It’s tough bringing up a child , with so many duties a parent certainly feels pressurized to make their child well-mannered, compassionate , having good values etc. It’s the most problematic to discipline children who are unruly and do not mix well with others. It’s heartbreaking for parents to hear regular complaints from school and activity centres about their child’s bad behaviour. But fret not, it is not the end of the world and you can easily rectify his behavioral problems.
How To Discipline Your Child :
Here are some ways in which you can learn How To Discipline your child.
#1 Let Them Learn naturally
It is necessary that your child learns from her mistakes sometimes. It is easy to assist or tell her, but sometimes they need to learn the consequences of their actions. Your child will need to take her decisions without you after a few years and it is necessary that, what they do does create consequences. When your kid drops his toys or throws them unnecessarily, even after being told not to; you should let them do it. Once they have broken the toys , and will not be able to play with it, they will understand why they were told not to throw them around. Kids learn from mistakes and even adults do too. So don’t come and help your child every time, sometimes he will learn with mistakes.
#2 Be Consistent About Rules:
It is sometimes easy to give your child some privileges when they nag consistently about something, like an extra cookie or another hour to play before bedtime. But you must not allow them privileges too often. Limit privileges to special days like a holiday or Birthday and follow same set of rules everyday. If you have decided that he/she will get two cookies each time, stick with it and don’t let them have an extra cookie just to beg them to behave or be well-mannered with someone.
#3 Don’t Lie :
Sometimes parents lie and use fear to control the child but it is a very bad practice. Sometimes this fear for a certain character or place or a person might have adverse effect on your child. He/ she might behave well with the mention of their name but at the end they might become too afraid of it and imagine things.
#4 Decide on the Same Things :
A child may nag about a thousand things, maybe that new toy he saw at the mall, or the video game his friends have. have your views about the rules for the child clear with your spouse. It should not be that you try to make him /her value the things they have already and the spouse fulfills all the demands . This will make you feel guilty as well as give the child the wrong idea that he/she can get anything from the other half . Make a list of rules to follow for both parents.
#5 Be emphatic and Not Sympathetic :
You should be a good disciplinarian but you should be empathetic. Try to understand the reason for your child’s bad behaviour or his temper and then let him know that you are with him and support him. Also let him know that , though his behavior is bad you can understand his problems. A child that shares his problems with the parents is the sign of good parent-child relationship.
#6 Reward them For good Behavior:
Don’t bribe them, but have a rewarding process for your child. Like if your child follows the rules and keep s his behavior good in school, outside and in public then her/ she will get a reward. It can be anything, like a visit his favorite McDonald stall , or a toy he has been wanting for a few months. Let him earn the things with good behavior and not tantrums.
#7 Logical Consequences :
This method of disciplining your child is good enough for children who are stubborn or throw tantrums. Keep a strict rule for bad behavior like if the child does not keep his playing area clean he won’t be able to play with the toys for a day. Or if they don’t eat their healthy foods , you will not give them the cookies he/she loves. Make this a strict rule and don’t break them, even if you feel bad for them.
#8 Be a Disciplining parent in Public too
There are many children who are a headache when they are in public. In the confines of the home they might have good behaviour but when that are in public they throw tantrums and demand things. It might look easy to just give in and provide him what he needs but it will just tell him that he can get anything from you if they throw tantrums in public
#9 Time out Zone:
If your child behaves rudely or does not follow a rule, immediately let him go to the timeout zone. But before you enforce time outs let your child know exactly what you and your partner mean as good behaviour and the rules they must follow. If they have questions and queries answer them and let them know what the consequences would be in advance. Once a child makes a mistake or acts in a bad way give them a warning and then if they agin repeat it take them to the Time Out Zone. It can be a corner, a room, anywhere you can find. Make them understand that this time is for them to understand why they have to go into Time out zone. If your child resists or does not follow your rule then take them physically and hold them firmly until they learn to stay still .
#10 Realize their Good and Bad
Every child is unique and will have good and bad traits within them. So before you start scolding or expecting too much from a child, learn to understand their limitations. A child should feel loved and get attention from his/her parents as they crave attention. Sometimes parents like to ignore the tantrums or don’t listen to what the child has to say – making them desparate to get your attention. Tell your chid that you love her everyday so that they feel loved and safe .
#11 Learn as They Grow:
You will need to be realistic about being a good parent. You will have moments when you will lose temper or say a thing you regret . So keep your guilt away and apologize to your child if you feel you have not said anything right. Also if you have a certain set of rules , change or modify them as your child grows to suit his age and mentality. If you have different aged children have different et of rules to meet the needs for that age.
Mostly parenting is a full-time job , for a lifetime . Even though most parents feel they have done their job, when their child moves out or goes to college – but they should be reminded that they will need to ge close to their children all their life and be there for each other. Disciplining a child is not very tough if both you and your partner are trying hard . There should be unity within parents and each one should enforce same rules so that the child develops the clear idea of what is wrong. If one parent plays a good parent and indulges them, irrespective of bad behaviour , then the child will feel that the disciplining one is bad and slowly distance themselves from the disciplining parent.
It is a great task to keep your attitude right and be a role model everyday for your child. Taking turns of doing the disciplining actions for your child will make it easier for you to be a more disciplined child . You will also get rest and time out to follow your pursuits and relax.